Master Roshi's Unlikely Successor
by IN.DO.GU.TSU
Summary: Quite possibly the first "Live-A-Live" fanfic ever written, this examines the realm of the "what if." What if Masaru turned out to be Roshi's successor?


**Master Roshi's Unlikely Successor**

**by IN.DO.GU.TSU**  
  
  
_Since the beginning of time, we have often asked ourselves, "If two RPG characters of my choice were to meet, what would happen?" It would be interesting, that's for sure. But it would be even MORE interesting to see what happens when two characters from the same RPG, who have absolutely no prior knowledge of each other's existence, would meet. Ever think of THAT?_

_Think about it. One person has exactly what another person is looking for, although they might live in different places. And time periods._  
  
  
_Our story begins in China, in a cabin on the foothills of a mighty mountain. In this cabin lives Roshi, an elderly master of Shinsanken-style kung fu who has been, for the past few days, looking for someone to become his official successor._

_On the first day, while walking through a forest of bamboo trees at the mountain's foothills, Roshi came across a woman who stopped him and threatened to steal his money. Easily besting her in a match of fists and wits, Roshi agreed to spare her life if she would give up her life of thievery and start training under his wing. That woman's name was Lei._

_On the second day, while walking through the town of Wong and healing the sick townspeople with herbs he had found in the bamboo forest, Roshi found a little boy being terrorized by a gang of marauders. Roshi dispatched the ruffians effortlessly, and allowed the spirited boy to train in his dojo. That boy's name was Yun._

_On the third day, while walking through a street market in Yunfa, Master Roshi ran afoul of a rather overweight thief who was eating all the food in the local restaurant, robbing the establishment's proprietor of his livelihood. The generous old kung fu master promised to foot the bill for the damage caused by the gourmand brigand, and set everything right by having "Fatty" train in the master's kung fu school. Maybe then would the iron-stomached man, named Samo, make something of himself..._

_The fourth day came, and Roshi tried to test his students' strength by fighting them head-on. But unfortunately, neither Lei nor Yun nor Samo put up much of a challenge. Roshi was able to defeat them easily and within seconds. The old master had then come to the conclusion that maybe these three had no natural aptitude for fighting after all._  
  
  
ROSHI: I am getting older by the day, and I still have not found the person to pass my Shinsanken Kung Fu techniques to. 

SAMO: (interrupting Roshi) I'm hungry! When do we eat? 

ROSHI: No interrupting my monologue! It is an act of dishonor! Just for that, NO SOUP FOR YOU! 

SAMO: Awww... 

ROSHI: Anyway, err, where was I? Oh, yes. Because of my old age, death is imminent, and if I die without a successor, the world will be left without the art of Shinsanken Kung Fu. I have searched far and wide within the five or so maps that encompass the domain in which my scenario takes place... and the only people I found with even the most remote possibility of becoming my successor are... a little kid who hasn't even reached puberty yet, a guy who thinks about food every three seconds, and (gasp!) a WOMAN! 

LEI: Um, just because I'm a woman doesn't necessarily mean I'm weak. I could probably fight as well as any man, if given the chance! In fact, I could have probably killed you back when we fought in the bamboo forest, if you hadn't used the super-cheap "OldFoxDance" attack at every turn! 

ROSHI: OldFoxDance is not "cheap." It just happens to be two to three times as powerful as all of my other moves, plus it can damage multiple enemies at once, and it causes a variety of status ailments, and it even has the built-in effect of causing the target(s) to flash purple for a few seconds. Now, where was I?  
  
  
_Suddenly, a "Chrono Trigger"-esque time gate opens just outside of Master Roshi's cabin, accompanied by the sound of a thousand men saying "whop." A black-haired man in a red headband, yellow pants, and purple training suit falls out of the portal, which then promptly closes with the sound of a thousand men saying "foop." The mystery man stands up, dusts himself off, and enters the cabin to speak with Master Roshi. Lei, Yun, and Samo are kneeling on the floor in meditation, while Roshi punches and kicks at nothing in particular._  
  
  
MYSTERY MAN: My name is Masaru Takahara. My goal is to learn every skill of every martial art. 

ROSHI: How... how did you know that this is a place of martial arts training? 

MASARU: I didn't. This is just the way I begin every conversation. 

ROSHI: I... see. Now, you just happen to be the person I was looking for. Unlike Girly, Fatty, and Toddler-Boy over here, you look like you have exactly what it takes to become the next master of Shinsanken-style Kung Fu! 

MASARU: In my quest to be the strongest man alive, I find this bizarre turn of events will definitely take me one step closer to my desired state. I shall take you up on your offer! Now how much do I owe you for this service? 

ROSHI: Owe? What do you mean, owe? There's no money in this game! 

MASARU: Oh, right. I forgot. 

ROSHI: Anyway, I shall start with a basic assessment of your skills. To test your physical and mental prowess, you shall fight Lei, Yun, and Samo -- all at the same time!  
  
  
_Roshi's three apprentices stand up and bow to Masaru._  
  
  
LEI: I look forward to reducing your HP to 0. 

YUN: Yes. What she said. 

SAMO: Just out of curiosity, how long am I being left without soup? 

ROSHI: Gautama Buddha, Samo! How many tracks does your mind HAVE, anyway?  
  
  
_(IN.DO.GU.TSU'S NOTE: I had Roshi say that as a substitute for "Jesus Christ," because obviously the people from China didn't know who Jesus Christ was.)_  
  
  
MASARU: Very well, in order to establish myself as the dominant candidate for kung fu succession, I shall battle all three of you at once!  
  
  
_And so, the battle started. Masaru used every technique he had at his disposal against Lei, Yun, and Samo. The Muay Thai boxing skills of Namcat, the Sumo wrestling moves of Jackie Yowkeya, the Mexican Lucha Libre-inspired attacks of Great Asia, the American military's secrets of unarmed combat borrowed from Tola Han, the ancient Japanese techniques of Moribe Seishiro, and the super-flashy finishes of Max Morgan..._  
  
  
ROSHI: Umm, Masaru, you can stop now. They've been unconscious since after you started your endless attack combination. I guess that's what happens in a game where there's no MP... 

MASARU: So... does that... make me the successor? 

ROSHI: Well, ordinarily, I'd challenge you myself, but I *gulp* fear for my life. Congratulations, you're the new successor to the Shinsanken line, yadda yadda yadda. 

MASARU: Thank you very much, Master Roshi. You have played a part in my quest for attaining total mastery of the martial arts. A fairly small part, but a part nonetheless.  
  
  
_Masaru and Roshi walk outside._  
  
  
ROSHI: So, I guess you'll be returning to your own time and place, eh? 

MASARU: Yes, but -- WHAT IN THE NAME OF YOKO SHIMOMURA JUST HAPPENED!?!?!?? That unexplained time portal that brought me here, it just vanished! 

ROSHI: Hmmm... So I guess that means...  
  
  
_Lei, Yun, and Samo stagger out of the cabin with torn clothes and bruises on their bodies._  
  
  
LEI: ...that you'll be stuck here... 

YUN: ...forever, right?  
  
  
_Masaru sighs._  
  
  
MASARU: Yes, I guess that is so. Oh, well, I might as well get used to spending the rest of my life in China, practicing my hard-earned martial arts against, um, those bamboo forest tiger things. 

ROSHI: Fine then. You can live in the back room of my cabin. 

MASARU: Thank you very much, Master Roshi! Now, all of this fighting and talking about succession has made me rather hungry. 

YUN: Uh oh... 

LEI: Now you've done it. The fat man's gonna talk about food forever! 

SAMO: Say no more, Mr. Takahara! I know something that's just perfect for you! It's a place at the north end of Yunfa Street. And I speak from experience here when I say you can eat all you want and never have to pay for it. You see, although the restaurant's owner might look tough and chase you outside with his meat cleaver, he's slow, and has really bad aim.  
  
  
**_--THE END--_**  
  
  
Please Read And Review! If I get a lot of positive feedback, I might follow with more _Live-A-Live_ "what if" stories! 


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